innocent face..plus working problem..

good morning everyone..
i guess today is a very good morning to start everything with..
well.. its quite cold. it still raining since 5am i guess..

alhamdulillah last night i sleep very well..
and someone always called it "sleep like a baby"..
well, now i know how it feels now..

but anyway, talking bout innocent looks or face..
i meet some people with that face..
they look very innocent and sometimes i guess i always assumed that they are as good as they look..
but, nowadays it is hard to believe what our eyes can see..
because many of it is just kinda immitations..
if u now what i mean.. (well, sometimes their look can kill us, but if u know who they are in real or close-up looks, many of them is just a liar!!)
sorry to say that, nowadays it is hard to trust people.. even people who is really close with us..
we thought we knew them very much.. but as many people said before, people change due to many reasons..

i got lots of friends who is claiming that they are still my friends..
but at the same time, they always talk behind me..
well, i guess its kinda rude and untrusted!!
spit it out even it is so hard but to me honesty is really matters in our life..
we just cant be nice, talk bad at the back of someone and just pretending nothing is happen..

i have meet with one of my ex-classmate yesterday..
she seems so nice to me..
but i think, she still keep her bad habit..
she never changed.. after past 6 years never meet her, i just cant see any changes..
girly, ignoring how people feel and also very very good actress..
but i guess that is who she is..
well at least i know who she is..
and sometimes i feel she is more natural and so true to everyone..
and that makes me feel she is still the "devil" and always telling myself to be aware...

lately i meet some new friends..
she is quite pretty..(many guys said so, but i guess she is just like other lady)
very quiet, shy girl and natural beauty (well that what people said, i just feel she is common)..
and for the past few months, i just feel she is still what i m thinking since the day i know her..
nothing special..
well, other than flirty in silence, a very good body language towards man, and also her attitude is not as good as her looks..
well i m not saying i m jealous of her..
all that i need to say is that, why did she need to keep pretending for who she is?
hiding anything which is not real us is not prohibited, but it is just kind of wasting time.. more or less, everbody will know who we are soon.. so why keep making ourself so tired pretending?

i just feel so tired to see people keep pretending.. and even it is not my problems, i just feel i m very tired..
plus if they are telling me everything which is a fake!!
i just feel that i m getting involved in their stupid story!!
the old fashioned way to make an attentions i guess!
wake up please!!
we are living in the real world!!
not in the DVD,MOVIES or GAMES!!

sometimnes, i keep wondering, what is really matters in our life?
people crying because of not enough food..
people sad because thier life is very poor and very naive..
but why people around us never think something which is more important than how to make a living??
why always creating unnecessary problems?
to me, imortant thing is that i can still have my job even it is not permenant
and i am always trying to have a better life for tommorrow and for the day that i havent know yet..
and i m always wondering, why other people (some of them) never try to improve what they have right now?
sometimes, i just saw a stupid drama around me.. never Appreciate what they have..
never work so hard, taking their jobs for granted!! and the stupid thing is that they never think that, the job they have now is what they always dream of once upon a time!!!
for them (some of it) having their job now is just an (alhamdullilah) satisfaction!!!
they received the money every month, but they are just sitting and coming to the office like they are the real boss!!!
i just wondering if one day, all the budget were tied up!!
and they will wake up and said "hey why we never been paid? its 3 days late now.. we should received our salary for the past 3 days" and i just wish the money can talk and said "hey come on, u are angry, but ur work have been delayed for the past 2-3 years.. what did u expect?"

well, i m not perfect, but i m trying so hard to be perfect in my work!!
i think, some people will think that i m over acting!!
its not an issue anyway!!
i just hope i can work as worth as what the government paid me for!!
i just wish, every month, i walk at the ATM withdraw my money and it will be enough for the whole one month (berkat)..
and i guess alhamdulillah the 5 hundred plus is enough and worth my work..
but i just wish, allah will heard my every wish.. insyallah..
so to everyone and myself, do our work with full responsibility..
just imagine, we eat and we are living with the money we are paid for,
but the work we did is not worth what we received..
it is not the matter of how much u received every month.. it is the matter how much work have u done to earn your salary..

well thats all for now..
no heart feelings, it is just kind of my expression and also some kind of an advice or motivation for myself.. "SLEEP LIKE A BABY" i like this word... every night.. when he says Good night through the phone or sms"