my heart say..

Assalammualaikum guys!
I m quite lazy lately. Plus i really feel i m not in a good condition.. I dunno why.. Just feel something wrong with me.. Huh.. I think i need to give myself a little space..

Maybe some or many of you are wondering what is my problem.. Its just that i cant share it here. Only closed friend know bout my situation and i m very grateful to have u guys beside me.. Thanks guys..after all, i have to deal with it by myself..

As a matter of fact, it hurts when we are trying many times and the result are still the same.. I keep falling, i try harder to stand still but sumtimes, i am so damn tired.. This is my life story.. Maybe u dont get me.. Its just that i need to release my tension here..

But i am so grateful that i managed to think clearly till now.. My life story was so complicated. Some may think i am an easy going person. I try to! And i make myself to be sum1 tough to get through this hard life. Everytime i step forward, its like i am lost in the middle of no where.

When will i manage to get my freedom? I am tired and i really cant change other's attitude unless they want it to change! I am just trying to hold on.. And i dunno till when.. I just wish that i wont lost my patient inside me..

Have u ever experienced that u are still thinking and using ur brain while u are sleeping? And when u wake up, u still feel very tired? I do! Since 2005 till now.. I just cant remember when is the last time i can sleep very tight.. I know there is lots of people out there have different kind of situation in life..

For me right now, i have to deal with everything in my life which includes my family, my career, my future and my love-life

I try so hard to improve my life and fix everything! But i just cant! I am trying so hard. I just cant see any chances given.. I just dont know how to start when everything in my life is so difficult!

In many aspects, people called me a loser.. And i am trying to pick up pieces of life i got to start a new life.. I just need a chance.. And i am still waiting for miracle to happen..

~whispering to myself~